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Illustration for article titled Is the Keurig of Cocktail Makers Worth $350?
Image: Bartesian

Bartesian | $350 | Amazon

Right before the holidays got started last year, I found myself the owner of a Bartesian. The main objective? To drink as many cocktails and mocktails as possible to get through the rest of 2020 in one piece. The holidays are almost always hectic—between purchasing gifts for loved ones, writing a continuous amount of content, and everything else going on (like a once in a 100-year pandemic, plus a classic coup d’etat!), I was stressed the hell out. I won’t waste time describing my personal woes as I am not Drake, but we can get into the Bartesian and how it actually works.

If you’re familiar with any kind of single-serve beverage maker, Keurig being the most popular, then you’ll understand the gist of how it works. The Bartesian is big and uniform in appearance, but still a looker on your countertop. It comes with four glass bottles—one for vodka, whiskey rum/gin, and tequila. It’s important to place the glasses where they’re labeled so the computer knows to pull the right kind of liquor for the cocktails.

Similar to the Keurig, you will need to keep cocktail “capsules” on-hand, as opposed to coffee pods. I used the Cosmo and Lemon Drop ones with vodka. At the base of the Bartesian, there is a water reservoir. This is also super important—if you want to keep your warranty, only place water in the back. So no weird jungle juice concoctions. This is specifically for the grown and sexy.

Illustration for article titled Is the Keurig of Cocktail Makers Worth $350?
Photo: Ignacia Fulcher

After you pick a pod, you’ll choose between mocktail, light, normal, or strong. If the cocktail you chose doesn’t require shaking, then you’re good to go! If not, it might be a good thing to also invest in a shaker and then pour your drink into your preferred glass and enjoy. The cocktails themselves are tasty as hell and were a hit with my family during the holidays (and after). They were excited about not having to mix drinks by hand. Ringing in the New Year was a simple, but spirited affair.

Sure, the Bartesian comes at a pretty hefty price of $350, and a six-pack of pods costs about $15 each, but you will get your money’s worth. I mean, especially if you miss going out to bars and paying $13 for a top-shelf vodka cranberry. Why not have a little fun, you know? We’re all going to be in the house through at least fall 2021 anyway.

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